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Though the above list is handy, we need to be extraordinarily perceptive and must have the ability to adapt according to the mood and vibe prevailing in each instance. Cremation rituals may vary in different places. Sometimes termed the Art of Presence, one of the best gifts one can give is the gift of time. Whats regionally accepted in Southern India, for example, may not be appropriate or even standard in the North. You can also include a poem, passage or anything else you feel reflects your friend's life. It is customary to make a brief visit and spend a few moments in private prayer and then to visit with the family members. Most 10-year-olds are ready for this type of experience, as long as they are accompanied by a parent or someone else close to them. Following their bathing, they will clean the house, as it is a Hindu belief that when someone dies, their home and its inhabitants are left unclean and impure. This depends on personal preferences. A thoughtful gift which allows the name of the deceased to be mentioned will provide long-lasting comfort to the family. The only exceptions to this obligation are when the expression of condolence is simply a printed form with no personal message, or when the writer asks that his or her note not be acknowledged (a thoughtful thing to do when writing a close friend, or when someone you know well will receive a great number of condolences). 3. Everyone one of us was inspired simply by knowing Avindash. Rather than quoting the Bhagavad Gita directly, you can also take its essence and interpret that into something meaningful. 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There is a tendency to judge whether the person deserved to die the way he or she did. Relate stories that show your friend in a positive light, and handle any humor with care. Would she like to have a reception for some or all of the attendees of the memorial service? If the bereaved person would rather speak to someone they dont know or needs additional support, specialist bereavement support services (see below) are available. All Rights Reserved. Work from your dream country on a remote visa, A peek into where heads of various countries reside across the globe, This Diwali, try our tasty banana pudding recipe, Heal Thy Self | Early warning signs you could be in an abusive relationship, On yoga day, Krishnaprabha is an inspiration. Please accept my condolences for your loss. However, different Hindu groups may have different funeral rituals. If you're completely overwhelmed by the prospect, and feel that you must decline, it's okay to do so. It's up to you. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register. This reincarnation belief provides the base for Hindu funeral rites. When one is in the cycle of rebirth, you would ask God to give momentum to the soul because the Hindu journey is ultimately to reach God. Offer your help in other ways, such as ushering, delivering a reading, preparing the program for the service, or assisting the family with plans for the service or for any reception afterwards (if there is one). is in chatting mode, Heading towards stronger foreign exchange reserves, Omar Sharif: Best bridge player in the world, KPP: The Unsung Voyager of Kerala Industry, Social media savvy cops setting example in Bengaluru, Tribunal rejects claim on early conciliation number, Priya Menon is all set to take Sankalp to the next level. Likewise, the person who passes an ugly remark at a solemn family function might not even realise what he said or did was hurtful. While it can be difficult to know just what to say to someone who has experienced a death, many people who have experienced a death appreciate being contacted. However, mourners can check with the funeral director or family for finding out whats appropriate for that particular funeral. Friends and relatives may visit to offer condolences and participate in Hindu prayer and scriptural readings to provide solace to the bereaved. Since this is such a personal request it should be made, if at all possible, either in person or with a phone call. In Hinduism, there is no judgment day as there are in Christian belief systems. Theyre good people inside and out, living a life marked with joy and fulfillment. The traditions and rites of Hindu funerals may vary. It is also appropriate in Hindu tradition to send sympathy gifts. This ceremony is attended by male family members and a priest. A common blunder by well-meaning visitors is to try and compare with their own limited experiences. In fact, unless we are absolutely certain of the familys religious and spiritual convictions, it is better to avoid the topic altogether, and give them some space instead. It also conveys an understanding that while there is a cycle to life, there is only one reality. If you didn't know him, you could mention something special you've heard about him. While visiting the bereaved, our focus should remain completely on the departed, and the grieving family. Pinterest. Specific rituals depend on the patients affiliation to a particular Hindu tradition. During subsequent visits, suggestions can be offered, but only when sought by the family. Ask for his/her input and a checklist of what needs to be decided and completed. The word hearty means happy and should not be confused with heart-felt. By merely being there, listening and taking care of the details, you'll undoubtedly be a great help to her during this sad time. Bhagavad Gita Quotes for Condolence and Healing - Learn Religions Do You Take Flowers to a Hindu Funeral? - Synonym Hindu funerals usually take place within 24 hours of death. Thats why cremation is preferred. It could even work over various social media platforms or a sympathy card. The choice of clothing should be made to show respect for the deceased and those grieving. Here is a list of dos and donts, International Film Festival of Kerala 2017 | Kerala Film festival | IFFK Awards | Onmanorama, International Film Festival Of India 2017 | Goa Film festival | IFFI Awards | Onmanorama, Why rolling your eyes at feminists isnt helping anyone, Transcendence of Death in the Harry Potter Series, Migrant workers send home 4 per cent of Kerala's GDP, Radhika Thilak, that gentle sweetness, is gone much before her time, Dont disturb, Supt. Food will be served following the ceremony. Copyright 2018 Manoramaonline. The urge to dish out free advice and meaningless platitudes must be resisted. You could certainly send her a personal note expressing your condolences. It is often a custom and part of the Hindu death ritual for the family to share a meal together and offer prayers for the departed, themselves and their house. There is an intense period of mourning immediately following the cremation or burial service which lasts thirteen days. However, this is not a religious requirement and entering the temple during the mourning period is not forbidden. E-mail is a immediate way to reach out and say, "I'm sorry. Deciding to stop by at a funeral on the way to a wedding, therefore, can be suicidal. Talk to your friend's family. 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Those people are greatly missed as they create such a hole for those they leave behind. It is customary to visit within 10 days the family of the person who passed away. She lived her life to its fullest, so we should celebrate her life to honor her legacy. Thank the family for offering the honor to you. Are you sure you want to Unsubscribe from Malayala Manorama News letter/ Alert. Everyday Health | Visiting a family who just lost a loved one? A Hindu priest is an officiant, who presides over all Hindu funeral rites. A compassionate gesture is often all thats needed while visiting the acutely bereaved. In summary, visiting a grieving family requires good knowledge of etiquette as outlined above. It is appropriate to visit the home of the family as anexpression of comfort and support. Why its so easy for Modi to appropriate icons hes opposed to Can you give an appropriate caption for this? Weapons do not cut this Spirit, fire does not burn it, water does not make it wet, and the wind does not make it dry. It is worth knowing that they are not always expecting a reply from uswe just need to listen. It is believed that free expression will keep the body healthy, instead of bound by mourning and unresolved anger. APPROPRIATE DAYS TO VISIT BEREAVED FAMILY: BEFORE NOVEMBER 1 OR 2 Just like any other special occasion or celebration, sometimes the best way to visit is the day before the said "peak season." This is to avoid a crowded space and a possible ruckus while visiting. Often, the best thing one can do is to listen patiently without interrupting. Give items to use or display in the home in remembrance of the loved one. Exchange stories about your loved one. By clicking "Accept", you agree to our website's cookie use as described in our Cookie Policy. Funeral Customs around the World - Eastern Europe Some placement restrictions may apply. Das, S. (n.d.). Harper San Francisco. What customs and traditions should I be aware of so that I can be respectful? That said, if you are thinking about contacting the bereaved or would like to offer your condolences, you should absolutely do so. Before the funeral, Catholics hold the Vigil (Wake). While the thirteen day intense period of Hindu mourning rituals may involve family and friends, the immediate family of the deceased is considered in mourning for a year following the death of the loved one. Usually, 6-8 people are asked. Complete Guide to Hindu Funerals - TFS Funeral Flowers Singapore In such situations too, it is helpful to remember that no hospital would knowingly do anything that could harm the patient. While silence is perfectly acceptable, a few well-chosen, soft words of comfort can help ease the pain. However, they can participate in the chanting of mantras taking place thereafter. The family also . Loss is hard. India Today Web Desk, I. Avoid the eating of certain foods, like sweets. The funeral directors will take the body for bathing, dressing and anointing with the permission and in the presence of chosen friends and relatives before the funeral rites take place. However, they include prayers, rice balls and flowers are arranged around the body, a lamp is kept near the bodys head, food is offered, and water is sprinkled over the body. After bereavement, a person goes through denial, anger, bargaining, depressionand finally acceptancethese stages take time. Many people follow thirteen days of. Our Religions: The Seven World Religions Introduced by Preeminent Scholars From Each Tradition. Lived Experiences of Bereaved Family Members During COVID-19 Pandemic Following are a collection of questions and answers about bereavement to help guide you during difficult times. Recalling a good deed that the person did, but the family was perhaps unaware of, can be particularly heart-warming. Certain Hindus may choose to remain at home during the mourning period and not visit the temple. Hindu funeral rituals decree that cremation is the custom, but the deceased body remains in the home of the family until you move it to the cremation place. Another common mistake is to pass remarks on how the family could have taken better care of the person who passed. Incidentally, it is perfectly acceptable not to cry, as each person processes grief differently. Visitors must realize that none of these questions would bring the person back; there is no second chance in death. The family should be consulted about any jewellery and religious symbols that need to be left in place. Viewing the body is not mandatory, but is usually considered respectful if the casket is open and displayed near the family. The family may return to work following the thirteen-day period of mourning. Close friends who are invited to attend will receive a personal invitation to the event. Deepest condolence messages very helpful in grief - India Today Notes of condolence should be acknowledged with a handwritten note. For some, writing notes is helpful as they work through their grief; for others it is too difficult to get much done for some time. Those who are close to the family may volunteer to do such tasks. Family members have an open invitation to attend the service. Hindu - A gift of fruit for the family is the appropriate gift. The family should be consulted about any jewellery and religious symbols that need to be left in place. Your sister was a beautiful person. They can wear open-toe shoes. Kalyana saavu is roughly translated as happy death, and you would use this phrasing to honor someones life and legacy. Find out what to do and discover resources to help you cope. When writing sympathy cards for Hindu loved ones, geography plays a vital role. Take a look. The Bhagavad Gita says that the bodys destiny is to die. Funeral Flowers Etiquette - Floral Traditions by Culture and Faith Share a toast. Well take you through some examples of condolences or sympathies below and try to iron out whats commonplace or whats appropriate in specific contexts. At the point of acute loss, the person will be numb and will not be able to listen to long lectures and suggestions by visitors. Recognizing and honoring this belief means that you grasp the idea of Brahman or the universal soul. Bereaved Etiquette for the Loved Ones on the Day of the Funeral