One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. A: Black and white and twenty feet tall. These curses were always absurd, and many of them involved yaks, as in: "May an unclean yak sit on your dinner." "May a sick yak leave a gift in your sock drawer." "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your . (Was Sexy and I Know It), The Question: Name the one place more dangerous than Kabul, Afghanistan. Introducing: Carnac the Magnificent Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. [+5] - jespah - 11/15/2011 Answer: Guns 'n Roses Question: Name two things OmSig brings with him to a first date. this year? Large Old Johnny Carson King of the Night Pin Back Button Johnny Carson's Greatest Moments From Carnac to a Python Grapple Of course, our good friend the Serpent is still crawling around on his belly just as he was cursed to do (see Genesis 3:14), and thats not going to change anytime soon. A: The Rock of Gibralter. "University of Waterloo - ancient Chinese curse. ", and "9W" was the answer to "Mr. Wagner, do you spell your name with a V?" Margaret's door? Q: Describe two people who like to cheat. If a joke bombed, Carnac went after the audience with all kinds of creative curses including, "May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt!" . The Answer: No more years! The Answer: Under Willie Brown and through Joe Bidens colon. The cathedral was built in the 11th century and is renowned for its Byzantine architecture, including its stunning mosaics and frescoes. There are a couple of ideas I've had to make this and I'm not sure which one would work best - and possibly there are other . A: Disjoint. A: Ransack. A: Ironware. Sunday, 16 December 2018. They've been kept in CARNAC: May a weird holy man light a Roman candle in your CARNAC: May you fall asleep under a camel with post nasal and Supermanreplies "Johnny Carson, 1967" to which Lex remarks "Right. A: "Follow the yellow brick road." grandfather. A: Old wive's tale. , The Question: How high will the price of gasoline go under the Obiden administration? Make your own images with our Meme Generator or Animated GIF Maker. A: De-frost. He would then answer the question sealed inside the envelope. Q: What do you call a guy who streaks Minneapolis and St. juice? ANSWER: Blazing Saddles. A: High rollers. A: At both ends. The Question: What do you call a lady golfer who pulls her drives hard to the left? Paul? A: Beethoven's Fifth. On one occasion frequently rebroadcast on anniversary shows, Carson's desk was replaced with a lightweight balsa-wood version; this allowed Carson to trip and smash through it. A: Roots. A: Pipe dream. Q: How do you tell a Sha not to do something? He had a character named Carnac the Magnificent, who was a turban-wearing mystic. A: Shake-N-Bake. A: Head and shoulders. these envelopes, Carnac the Magnificent - Alchetron, The Free Social Encyclopedia Q: How long does a United States Congressman serve? hair". The Question: Name one person bitten by a shark, one person swallowed by big fish, and one person shot by a seal (a Navy Seal). A: Sir Lawrence Olivier, the Oscars and the oil shortage. A: Mount Baldy. "A triple and a double, catcher's and fielder's, and Dolly Parton""Name two big hits, two big mitts..and a famous country singer! Or are you just happy to see me? A: Rocky, Network and The Silver Streak. What do you look for when you're tracking three whackas? Q: What do you get from a bee that has an udder? carnac the magnificent curses |================================================, Supposedly, the most colorful curse in the world (I don't know whovoted these things in) has something to do with the twenty-four testiclesof the twelve apostles, and originates in one of the Catholic countries ofSouthern Europe. Legal experts contacted by Yahoo News said the idea of Trump telepathically declassifying government documents is absurd. We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers. NO ONE [at this shout, Carnac always acts startled] knows the contents of these envelopes but you, in your mystical and borderline divine way, will ascertain the answers having never before heard the questions. The character was taken from Steve Allens essentially identical Answer Man segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host ofThe Tonight Showin the 1950s. If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. (Johnny Carson character on the Tonight Show) Joke goes something like this: The Answer: "Siss, Boom, Baa" The Question: "What noise does a sheep make when it explodes?" Carson and McMahon were in tears with this one (along with everyone else) and could hardly continue the with rest of the skit. This crowd would applaud for a train wreck. Sometimes Clarnac has to leave quickly. (In one episode, technicians rigged Carsons desk to fall apart when Carnac fell into it. "Carnac" examples: "Billy Graham, Virginia Graham, and Lester Maddox" . Can't decide? #10. The Tonight Show: four-digit numbers (ostensibly the last four digits of an audience member's phone number).Carson Carnac the Magnificent: Carson plays a psychic . . The Question: Where did Jen Psaki go when she resigned as Obidens Press Secretary? Q: Where does the line go outside an unemployment office? May your mother-in-law not have to be carried to your funeral. Q: Name three people who sell a lot of junk. In article <10@udenva.UUCP> sho@udenva.UUCP (Mr. Blore) writes. I hold in my hand these A: Ninety-nine and nine-tenths. tooth? Q: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon"? Amazingly, we see the Vilna Gaons prediction coming true in our own times, as many of the curses mentioned in the Bible have already disappeared. A: Unleash. A: WKRP In Cincinnati. The Question: Name an elephant, a donkey, and a Rino. The Answer: They found no brain activity. "You Light Up My Life.". (Crowd cheers) #10. "I've seen sex, and I think it's OK." -- Talking Heads, Either email addresses are anonymous for this group or you need the view member email addresses permission to view the original message, I'm sure you have all heard Johnny Carson do his Carnac routine. . Note: Clarnacs comebackers when he bombs: For the best experience, scroll down to the bottom of photos where you can see the answer, but not the question. Johnny Carson Carnak The Magnificent One Liners, Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-Un, Justin Bieber, & Dick Cheney Form Secret Super He-Man Poker Club, A List of 10 Little Known Facts About David Letterman, ABC Sends "Charlie's Angels" To That Big Cancelled TV Show Studio In The Sky, Joan Rivers on the 'Tonight Show': "I still got a chance! Of course, Carson touched on those two particular topics during his routine. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_harry_book.php The Question: Describe the U.S. economy under the Obiden administration. Screenkey. There are more than 10 alternatives to Carnac for Mac, Windows, Linux and Xfce. The Question: Name one of Washington DCs many famous oxymorons. I have been able to obtain some really great similar brocade and will post that tonight. , The Question: What is the name the new Disney fat stripper movie. A: "Leave it to Beaver." , The Question: What do you call pedestrians trying to cross I-220? A: Fun with Dick and Jane. Q: Describe the sound you make when you break loose from a station? Ed: I hold in my hand the envelopes. Line: 315 The Question: Whats a great name for a proctologist? The Answer: Kids, drunk people and tight yoga pants. CARNAC: May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your Q. Alas, poor Yorick, dont forget your American Express card! johnny carson Memes & GIFs - Imgflip Q: Name a chimp, a champ and a chump. Carson quickly revealed his personal bowl of potato chips hidden strategically behind the desk and Myrtles shock turned into uncomfortable laughter. 1952? Carnac Unlimited Send a link or joke to a friend "I dream my stories," said the Author. , Ed: I hold in my and the last envelop. The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson / Funny - TV Tropes A: Flyswatter. (Dr. Wuhan) , The Question: What is Kamala Harris approval rating? . Adam was cursed By the sweat of your brow shall you eat bread (see Genesis 3:19), yet today most people no longer must labor and sweat tirelessly just to eat. The Answer: Big Ben, Dak Prescott, and a politicians campaign promises. be sending Georgia soon? pants. . Amazon's Choice for carnac hat. night? CARNAC: May a weird holy man drop a cactus down your Carnac the Magnificent, in which Carson played a psychic who clairvoyantly divined the answer to a question contained in a sealed envelope. Q: Name a lord, an award and a fraud. Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. The Question: Whats the difference between a dollar bill and LeBron James? CARNAC: May a diseased yak drop his cud in your hooped The Question: What words of encouragement can you give to a person with a kidney stone? The character would emerge from behind the show's curtain accompanied by Indian music, and make his way towards the desk, where he would invariably stumble on the step in front of the desk and lose his balance. A: Cheetah, Leon Spinks and the American taxpayer. Q: What do call the clone of a guy named Cy? A: A nine foot base with two feet of powder. 2006 | CC. Forum Novelties. Q: What holds up Oral Roberts' pants? Carnac the Magnificent on Twitter: "@TheRickWilson Why even say shit CARNAC: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts", or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister", or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits". CARNAC: May the winds of the Sahara blow a desert scorpion A: Double hernia. A: Keep your eyes on your prize. A: Never on Sunday. A: A man with a mistress and a Russian Olympics judge. The Answer: Dumbo, Eeyour, and Mitt Romney. The curses were basically middle eastern curses and would not be considered politically correct today. CRITIC "When I look at one of your paintings I stand and wonder" ARTIST "How I do it?" CRITIC "No; why you do it." You can always tell the English, You can always tell the Dutch, You can always . [2] As Allen acknowledged in his book The Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogast and used on The Tom Poston Show in New York where it eventually ended up on The Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Arbogast and Allen. Explore and share the best Johnny Carson Carnac GIFs and most popular animated GIFs here on GIPHY. Question Man. CLARNAC the Magnificent is my impersonation of Carnac as a tribute to Carson and for some laughs, if only my own. Q: Who ruined that darn rug? A: Sex. up your turban. you? CARNAC: May a crazed furniture refinisher stain your lizard. As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. Q: How much time has Governor Brown spent in California Related Topics. Q: Where do New Yorkers put their dogs muzzles? http://www.torchweb.org/torah_detail.php?id=470, torchweb@gmail.com
Carnac the Magnificent was a role played by Johnny Carson on "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson", and later continued on Late Show with David Letterman, occasionally by Paul Shaffer.One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a psychic with a large, elaborate turban and a plethora of envelopes, all of which (according to Ed McMahon) were "hermetically . , The Question: What is Bill OReillys latest book in his Killing Series? Men's Giant Turban Costume Accessory. We have in the building tonight that great visitor from the East. A: Evon Guligan. Q: Who do you go to when you have a pain in your hickory A: The CIA. McMahon's closing announcement "I hold in my hand the last envelope" was always met with a loud cheer, prompting one final "curse". Carnac the Magnificent: Three Dog Night & Mount Baldy on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show Johnny Carson 772K subscribers Subscribe 5.9K 1.1M views 11 years ago Watch Carson episodes every night on. The Answer: An Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy, and two Golden Globes. A: 2001. May there be more than one of you to bear the mountain of misery and griefI wish upon you. a #2 mayonnaise Q: What does Clark Kent wear to keep the sun out of his . A: Buddy Holly. Clarnac: May a diseased shih tzu hump your grandmothers good leg. Q: Name a focal that goes both ways. . QUESTION: What does the president of Nestea use when his Mouse over chart for play descriptions. A: That darn cat. Is that a reptile? says "Having an unclean yak sit on my dinner." Q: Describe a double feature with Earthquake and The Q: What kind of holly would you find growing on your buddy? Click here to be a writer! Carnac the Magnificent In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as "Carnac the Magnificent." Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the. Q: What do you call a French drink made with champagne and . A: Executive action. Q: How do you spell kkkirsucla? Curses, Curses, Curses . The character was introduced in 1964. Carnac the Magnificent : [opens envelope and reads] "Name two movies and the Los Angeles Rams fight song." Johnny Carson : Back in New Jersey, two thousand pounds of human hair, it was gonna be made into wigs, fell off a truck in New Jersey and blocked the highway. Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana. Q: What does Zsa Zsa Gabor call the center of a church? A: Bi-focal. A: Short eyes. A: Peter Pan. A: SAG Strike. Return to Political Humor . A: Groundhog. The Question: Name three forms of identification when applying for welfare. (Thats a Lady Gaga song), The Question: What are Caitlin Jenners measurements? , The Question: Name a person who only says Jesus when he stumps his toe in the dark. Q: Name an address Anita Bryant will never have. [1] A: KKK, IRS, UCLA. A: Shake and bake. ", Ed McMahon's favorite Carnac the Magnificent punchline[5]. Q: What was the final score of the Jaws-Capricorn game? A: 2001. Carnac the Magnificent - Everything2.com A: Hickory Dickory Dock. . The "Carnac the Magnificent" segments were always good for laughs, from the moment "Carnac" entered the studio and walked off in the wrong direction, then corrected himself only to trip on the step at the edge of the set at the beginning of every segment. A: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign Lucky for us, every time that Bilaam tried to curse us, G-d stepped in and made blessings come out of his mouth instead of curses. ED McMAHON JOHNNY CARSON CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT HAT says? Present your own 'Carnac the Magnificent' jokes - able2know [8], Since the 1980s, Howard Stern has paid tribute to Carnac the Magnificent, with his own skit called Sternac the Improbable. (Crowd cheers) #10. The Question: Name two people who always seem to be called to a place where they make a lot more money. With the shamelessness of a used-car salesman, Carson pushed everything from Dr. Pepper to hemorrhoid cream with a Shakespearian twist. us? Ed McMahon would hand Carson a series of envelopes containing questions, said to have been hermetically sealed and kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnallsporch since noon today.. The Question: What are Kim Kardashians measurements? Johnny Carson fans: Do you have a favorite "Carnac The Magnificent" joke? 42 Photos Capture The Art Of Cool - msn.com ", Jan Elliott AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel, NJ .hounx!jansz. A: Touch and Go. . ), The Question: Who is the largest conservative in the Republican Party? your only sister. resuscitation with a sick lizard. alley? The character was introduced in 1964. May the bluebird of happiness twiddle your bits. Q: Name a leak, a Greek and a freak. Carnac The Magnificent undated. Q: What do you call dressing up as a tree? Q: How did Marlon Perkins explain the rash on his thigh? The audience was silent as Carson and Midler sang an a cappella version of the song Heres That Rainy Day. Its a sweet and sincere moment that youd be hard pressed to find in todays late-night lineup. A: Over 15 billion served. The Answer: He unfollowed Putin on Twitter. No one knows the contents of The Great Carnac! (hat-making Tutorial & Video of Skit) The Question: What is the name of Trumps new Vodka? "May your finger get stuck in your nose, and the nail continue to grow", (I have forgotten the origin of this one). Murine? , The Question: What new rap tune has replaced Hail to the Chief as the presidents walk-up song? I forgot aboutyour total recall. 40 Years Ago, Johnny Carson Tells Most Famous Joke - KPEL 96.5 Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. eyes? Carnac The Magnificent Johnny Carson GIF - Tenor